I have had clean hands for a few weeks now, but the feeling of needing to get them dirty again is becoming overwhelming.
The house is still not back to normal. There are projects cut but not sewn. There is a ‘fun defecit’ that needs to be addressed, and I am owing play-dates, classroom helper duty and social catch ups all round. The guilt of not being all things to all people has not abated. My brain will not be still. I can not embrace ‘being in the moment’ as I would like to.
I’ll get there.
But in the meantime I am dreaming of canvas. Huge expanses with rich landscapes – really big ones. And lairy detailed portraits. And more shadow paintings. And reflecting on how far my art has come, and how much further I still have to go. And wondering what it will look like in another 5 years time and where I will be with it.
And trying to stay in the moment – one step at a time.