Every so often – in the creative life there will be a little period where you make a breakthrough – or take off in a slightly different direction that feels good and right at the time.
Sometimes you will find yourself at the end of that small leg of the journey, turn around to catch your breath and realise you are further than you thought you’d be.
Vertigo sets in. A moment of anxiety and feelings of pressure mount.
You try to work and everything just looks crap.
This is unlovely.
The ‘unloveliness’ is valuable because it makes you work harder, try harder, climb further, and it is in fact a blessing – this dissatisfaction – because it is a glass that helps you realise how far you have in fact come.
It just feels icky.
Having spent the last 3 days on a painting that is – MOST horrible, and being unable to get anything useful out of the experience is frustrating and crushing. Temporarily crushing. I’ll be over it tomorrow, but for today I would just like to curl up in the sunshine and wait for my new wings to fully uncurl.
And tomorrow I’ll give it another go. Or maybe today. I am so impatient….