My life hasn’t been mine this week. Freelance projects, some painting, some forms, some business, some activities, some cleaning, some maintenance, some shopping, some fun stuff (a great party at the children’s farm yesterday), some planning have left no room for breathing and quiet reflection.
I’ve been staying up late.
I’ve been hiding.
I’ve been furtively distracting myself by whizzing by blogs that I love looking for some quietness in a 30 second blitz with no time to just enjoy.
On the happy front, I finally bought a big shelving unit for Zara’s room. Bought, built and installed it single-handedly (I rocked that afternoon). He room is now beautiful and organised – and has stayed so for a few days now. She has been busily occupying herself ‘shopping’ in the compartments, filling her basket and
talking to herself the while.
On the happy front, I assessed some ‘dead’ areas in our living room and laundry, and claimed a huge chest that was filled with games and patterns for my material stash. The stash is now safely contained in the laundry, in the chest, and it looks very nice and exciting in its new home by the back door. The kids now have a ‘nest’ in a big basket in a corner of the living room where they can hide and giggle in private, and it’s been lovely to see and hear.
It is astonishing how some small rearrangements have opened up more energy in the house, and how the introduction of something so big (Zara’s unit) can make her room more spacious.
On the ‘quiet’ front, I have been reading about how that cloud of dissatisfaction (I’m re-phrasing), feeds and renews itself without our even being aware of it. How it is like a parasite that enjoys bouncing off the unhappiness of others and slowly poisons society and ourselves, reducing our happiness and causing problems that feed it even further. eeek. When I first started reading this I thought ‘um, I think that’s a bit extreme’, and I’m not sure I buy into it completely, but I think it is true that we have a ‘drama’ quotient that needs to be satisfied – even if just in feeling for others misfortune in a deep and sorrowful way. I’m looking forward to getting to the end of that section and learning some strategies to put that beast to sleep.
I really need to just paint….