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Archive for December, 2007

Whip it

whip.jpgThe past few weeks have been crazy.

I have been left feeling more than a little punch-drunk, and can’t seem to get it together to paint in any meaningful way.  It’s not just that there isn’t much time, it’s that a stolen moment here or there has felt stolen, and while it has been enjoyable, and I’m happy with the result, I am craving the complete freedom to go for it without distractions or guilt.

It seems, at the end of the day, that although I am a mother, a wife, a human being, a friend and relative to an expansive and wonderful family, I am at the heart of it an artist with a deep need to do what I do, and the pressure of a solo coming up.

I am becoming impossibly short-tempered, and guilty for being so.  I am like a see-saw being balanced by two heavy and volatile children (life and the creative drive).  My own little darlings are gorgeous as always, and deserve better.  My husband deserves better.  I’m not sure where my own soul fits with this mix sometimes, and I know I am so, so, so incredibly lucky to be blessed with all that I have.

In case you are getting concerned – I am not depressed.  On the the contrary I am having a wonderful time, it’s just that I can’t seem to relax and be fully in the moment, and that seems such a terrible waste of a wonderful time of life for all of us.

She’s a cruel little mistress sometimes this drive….

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Space to breathe

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After running, and racing, considering, eating, discussing, celebrating, passing things over and on…

After mulling things over, exploring spaces in my head, thinking colours and patterns and stories…

After sneezing and organising, playing and socialising, getting endlessly dressed and arranging my still-too-awful haircut…

After selling some paintings, paying some bills, looking towards the next venture…

After blissfully sleeping in…

I am starting to feel clean, and ready to turn to a new page.

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And she is three

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This day, three years ago, she came into the world.  Bringing joy and uncertainty, unconditional love and huge swings of emotion.

She is feisty, and fearful.  Loving and passionate.  Caring and nurturing and selfish – as she should be – she is three.

She is intelligent and articulate.  She is creative and adventurous.  She is eccentric and a lady.

She is mummy’s girl, and I am hers.  Happy Birthday little one, I adore you.

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Merry Christmas!

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Christmas for me is a time to be grateful for all that we have, and all that we are capable of being. A time to tell those that you love how much they mean to you, and to be kind to strangers. This year I am acutely aware that
it isn’t always a happy time for everyone, and that many go without family, or presents, or joy

I hope, wherever you are that you find joy in abundance.

This is probably the best time of year to direct you to an amazing and beautiful site, that makes me happy every time I visit. I’m always astonished by Marilyn’s generosity, and if you sign up for her newsletter she send updates and little printable toys on a regular basis. Go have a look: http://www.thetoymaker.com/ and you’ll see what I mean. Plenty of fun for adults and children there.

Alright – I’m off to immerse myself in preparations for jolly fun. I hope your Christmas is full of light and life, and that you find peace and prosperity in abundance in the new year. 🙂

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The deluge

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Detail of work in progress. 🙂

The past few days have been astonishing in Melbourne.  Hot, humid, rain, rain, RAIN.  The other day we truly could not see our own letterbox for thick fast rain.  Exciting and a little scary.  We saw people running for cover along the street who had been taken completely by surprise, and cyclists (I hope they got home safe).

Today it’s cold, or is it warm?  The sun is out but the wind is blowing a gale.  We went to bed without blankets and woke up to long sleeves and warm socks.  There is a deluge.  A deluge of rain, of smiles, of emotional people, happiness and stress, food, chores, Christmas specials.  Things yet to be done.  I hope you are doing OK.

Not meaning to frighten anyone, but there’s 3 sleeps to Christmas, and I think by the day I will be too tired to actually enjoy it.  I am so grateful that I get to go to a large family gathering where everything will have been done for me, and just need to get us dressed and out the door.

Right now though I am having a moment of bliss.  Zara is asleep (ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY!).  Matteo is watching a film, and I have 30 minutes until our visitors arrive.  I am tossing up whether to attend to a job in a precious moment or just lie flat on back and do nothing.

Nothing wins!  Lucky, lucky me. 🙂

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It ain’t working

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So I thought I should officially report – I am a hare – no matter what I do I cannot become a tortoise.

The tortoise thing ain’t working people.

It is stressful and with 4 sleeps to go until Christmas there are 2 projects on my list that are definately DEFINATELY not going to make it.  The beautiful crib that I’ve been restoring for Zara is still not finished, and the paint isn’t drying quickly enough in the humidity for it to be done in time even if she was sleeping in the middle of the day (and this week she is NOT).  We have social things going on in the evening which are stopping me from completing the quilt for the crib in any case.  Arghhhhhh.

So today, I hit the shops and did plan B – in the hope that Plan A will do for her birthday instead – 2 days after Christmas (still hoping for a minor miracle).

The Anti-China embargo has completely gone off the rails with many presents coming from the exotic orient, and the discovery of the Holy Grail of T-shirts (not too big, not too small – fitted but not clingy, and not plastered in tacky slogans or designed to make me look pregnant.  I bought 5, and am thrilled with myself despite the self-loathing that comes with the falling off the rails.  Ah well.

I have spent a stupid amount of money in the shops, am frazzled, and tired, and ready for a break.  It’s amazing when you don’t shop that often, how stressful just immersing yourself in it can be.   I used to LOVE the shops.  Not sure I’ll ever get back to it in the same way – which is kind of a nice way to be I think.

For Christmas I would like a contented family and a wave of relaxation to sweep over me.

The Birds, exhibition is up for one more week.  It will come down in the first few days of January.  If you still want to see it you’d better be quick, and I’m pretty sure you can just take a painting away with you this week instead of coming back for it.  The address is Hudson – 229 Carlisle Street.

That’s if you can still face the shops.  I’m steering clear myself. 🙂

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Last night at Dr Sketchy we had the gorgeous Diamond Dolls.  So much fun, and so tricky to capture 3 gorgeous girls at once.  They are so cheeky and so much fun, it’s hard not to smile in a class with them.

Seeing Miss Sugarpuss was a little present to me in itself.  I love to draw that girl. 🙂

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