detail of You’d never guess
So much of our experience of life is coloured by the way we are feeling at a particular time. Build up enough of these perceived ‘bad’ experiences, and your whole life is tinged with something of your own making.
Isn’t that awful. Can’t that be wonderful.
In the past few days I’ve seen some things that have made my skin crawl. Children being exposed to parents with hang ups about life, safety and the future that will forever change the way these kids create their own reality. One in particular still has me slapping my own forehead wondering what I should have done differently….
We were at an indoor play structure, and a woman appeared out of nowhere – set face, obviously very unhappy. There were 2 boys (about 3 years old) in her sight. She grabbed one of them very, very roughly by the arm, yanked him away from the other boy, and shouted at him ‘if you ever kick another kid again you’ll be sorry’. She took her own child away for cuddles, leaving the terrified little child alone, face distorted in pain and fear looking around for his mum who was nowhere in sight. It was awful. I didn’t know if they were both her boys, and she was doing tough love, or if the kid was someone elses. Finally I decided to go in and get him – it was too awful. Another mother who hadn’t seen the scene in the meantime came in and asked him where his mother was. He spotted her and ran to her, unable to express himself, so I followed and explained the situation.
It still goes through my head over and over. How that little incident has probably scarred a few people. The boy who was shouted at was completely alone in his mind, the boy who was rescued was taught the lesson that this is how you deal with such a situation, and that other kids do not have the best intentions, his mother had her fears that the world is against her and hers shown to be right yet again.
I think the only way to make the world a better place is by expecting the best from everyone you meet, while being careful to protect yourself from other people’s weakness – because we are all human and frail in our own way. Compassion has to be number one, and that includes being compassionate to ourselves as well. We all stuff up sometimes, we are all magnificent sometimes, the world is not against you – it’s too busy doing its own thing.
That makes life a whole lot more relaxing don’t you think!