Not so many years ago I used to be a reasonably well-paid person, working in the city, going out to lunches and being fabulous (that last bit was a joke). When I wasn’t being fabulous, I was in search of fabulous. In fact, I think that’s where most of my money went – in search of fabulous. In search of the perfect garments to make me look thinner, taller, more exotic… someone else I suppose.
It’s dangerous working in the city when your lunchtime hobby is investing in your wardrobe. I knew great boutiques in little laneways, and corners in the department stores. I knew secrets. I used to treat myself at least once a week to some new great thing. Disgusting isn’t it.
Giving up a regular salary was a big gamble – socially, emotionally, economically. The hardest thing for me has been the inability to regularly indulge by investing in my wardrobe. I went through a disgraceful phase of scouring discount stores looking for fabulous, and feeling cheap and nasty in the process. I berated myself for being a compulsive shopper. I bemoaned the lack of money (I still do actually). I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t important and look the other way when we passed shops that looked tempting.
Then I rediscovered sewing. Firstly for dishonourable reasons. I saw a skirt I wanted, could definately not afford, and set about trying to make it for myself. I made it. It looked terrible on me (kharma I’m sure), but reconnecting with the sewing machine was quite lovely, and inspiring. I made some pants. They were the best pants I’d ever had. I made some more….. and so it continues.
A few weeks ago I had a spare hour, had recently sold a painting, and went frolicking in the shops. You know what? I didn’t like anything. The stuff I could afford looked awful, the stuff I couldn’t looked like a rip-off, and the only thing that made me quiver was a jacket in the most amazing fabric that didn’t suit me anyway. Go figure.
I think I turned a corner, and I like it.
It is totally, completely, absolutely me, and I love, love, LOVE it. It’s from bamboochutney. Think I’d better make some money so I can buy some more of her stuff. 🙂