When I started this blog, my intention was to chronicle good times and bad. To record the difficulties that a mother pursuing the art life encountered along the way, and to perhaps provide solace to anyone journeying in the same direction in the knowledge that their trials are not unique.
I vowed to myself to be honest about everything. To spill my guts and take no prisoners. To record failures as well as successes and bring anyone who cared to read along with me.
I have found this difficult to do in the last year and have held a lot back.
Difficult for reasons that are intensely personal, which is why perhaps they should be discussed but I find myself unable. For the protection of others, for the rawness of feeling they would describe, and for the legacy they might represent as a lasting record on the web.
I find myself, at this bend of the blogging journey wishing my blog was more anonymous in the pursuit of full disclosure and for its continuation.
I also find myself tossing up the possibility of leaving this blog and starting a new one because, to be honest, this name won’t belong to me for so much longer.
After 10 years of marriage, I find myself ready to move on. A process which is painful and necessary. Confusing, scary and unpredictable in that the future is unmappable to a great extent and a leap of this kind is confronting to all concerned.
There is the issue of my name. A name, which became mine through marriage. A name which I have worked under and lived under and which I am not sure belongs to me any more.
So much to think about… So much to be done… So much to consider…
Hugs…
hope the journey is as smooth as possible … xxx
i know this journey, i began it in Feb of this same year.
i really do understand Michelle.
i know that like me you are made of the tough stuff which does not mean that this will not be a difficult time but that this will be something you will not only survive, but, believe it or not you will come out stronger than you were.
There is great heartache and fear but that is all wrapped up in wonderful discoveries and new journeys.
The biggest of which, for me, has been in the true discovery of myself.
There came to me a lightness of being, I am sure there will be for you too.
I love you, you are loved, and there is support, always, and quite often from the most unexpected of places.
The children do adjust, much quicker than I would have anticipated, children adore honesty, that is all they really require, honesty and disclosure.
You will be fine, the children will be fine, their father will be fine, this I know for sure, this is a certainty.
Time fixes everything.
You know my email, sometimes it is easier to release onto someone not so close to it all.
xxsm
Oh Michelle.
I wish you strength and grace on your journey.
xx
Wishing you well on the journey that continues ahead.
oh.
oh, crap.
oh, the things i have missed “seeing” with my head buried in work.
abundant apologies. and meaningful looks.
please forgive my neglect.
xx
Aw michelle, been meaning to get here recently and havent made it.
Tough decisions, take baby steps… having done much the same thing (though we werent married) but a business and 2 children together to “separate” from. Its definitely a raw and emotional journey one that’s of many many rollercoasters, if i can give you and consolation, the rawness does heal (it actually hit me worst 1 year after the final separation than it did during) so its a long haul but you do get through it.
For myself, particularly in the early days i made sure i made new memories and new happy times for myself & my children, eventually the number of newer memories outweighs the other memories… instead of the other way round. Now almost 2 years on its still a rollercoaster but its less often and somehow a little easier to manage.
You have strength, its shown in how you have even written this post
My thoughts are with you & your family 
Look after yourself.
Belinda