It starts off gently. Just a little rising in the chest every so often. A little wistfulness for dirty hands and freedom of fingers and mind. A little panic that it has been so long now (two weeks) that I will have forgotten the movements and flicks that make things work.
It grows gradually – through lack of opportunity. Through growing confidence of children that today will contain marvels and discoveries about themselves and their world that are so far untapped.
I have bred curious monsters (of the nicest possible kind). And painting these last few weeks has been impossible. I miss it – I crave it, and I know that by next week if I don’t get some in somehow I will become a screaming, grumpy harpy that will have her way. She’s not very nice.
After almost a full week of ‘can we do it today, can we do it tomorrow – is tomorrow today?’ we did it. We made homemade pasta from scratch.
Spinach and Ricotta ravioli (remembered too late to take photos), and spaghetti.
It was good. Very good. But fiddly, and we could have done without the ravioli (good as it was). The ravioli made mama a bit grumpy. But Matteo loved every single second of the planning, the making and the eating.
We will definately do it again – but I might need to get some painting in beforehand…..
So what is it that keeps you from painting when the kids are around?
I know this need so well, the craving, the wishful thinking, the frustration, despair and increasing irritation. I hated how it felt and I knew I had to do something about it, both for myself and my children.
Acceptance has provided the solution for me – acceptance regarding what I can realistically do right now. Loosening my hold on something so special was hard but continuing as I was would have been harder. I console myself with the knowledge that partially letting go is not forever, really there is no hurry – I’ve tried it and we do not forget how to paint.
Some artist worry that other artist are leaping ahead of them and they will miss the boat if they take time out. I don’t believe this to be the case at all. Your art is “your” art, no one else can do it the way you can.
Thanks Triecia, I admire your resolve and thank you for the advice.
Kit, the thing that stops me is the medium I use – oil paint. It’s just not suitable for 3 year old hands, and she must be involved in everything I do……. There are times when I do paint with her in the room – while she is playing happily on the computer, but with 2 kids home from school that need to be supervised and entertained at the moment it all goes horribly pear shaped….
I really believe in letting them get messy and having fun – oil paint and kids is just not a good mix. Trust me on that one.
I’ll be back into it next week for sure though – even if I have to pull an all nighter.
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mmm, pasta looks gooooooooooooooood.
touch of the pro harts perhaps?!